Airports mean long lines insofar as getting any type of fast
food.
Although unto itself that is annoying, here is what is
really fucking annoying - waiting for people to order.
You really only have one purpose standing in a fast food
line: namely, figuring out what the fuck
you are going to order when it’s your turn.
The line is long and there is nothing to do but figure out your
order. So just do it.
When you get to the front, I don’t want to see you start
rubbing your jaw or scratching your head, saying “Hmmmm, what will I have….” Or
asking if the “value meal” drink can be substituted for bottled water. Or any
other absurdity.
I really wanted to explain it to the guy in front of me
yesterday: Hey, Asshole, what the fuck have you been doing in line the last 10
minutes besides checking your match.com emails or calling your stupid friends
to tell them where you are?
You have one job and one job only: figure out what you want and then order it.
You are not at “Chez Jacques” or “Le Cirque”; you actually order by meal number, so fucking pick one so the rest of us can get on with our lives.
Numbnuts.
So the next time any nimrod in front of you starts being
annoying by not having his order ready when called, do what I did last week: politely say, “Hey you mind
if I step ahead of you – I’m all ready to order.” It shocks the person, and while they stand there dumbfounded, you blurt out to the cashier "I'll have the Number 4 to go". Worked perfectly.
Hopefully, it will catch on to people worldwide that we all
have shit to do while they are figuring out that life changing decision whether
to have chicken tenders, a fish sandwich or that greasy burger.
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